So You’re a Comedian Now? – 5 Important Things to Avoid When Telling Jokes

Try telling a joke to a square. Seriously, try it. You’ll learn quickly that squares don’t know what jokes are.

So you’re in the middle of your workday, casually discussing reports, cover letters, and whatnot. You figure it’s the perfect moment to drop a joke on your buddy. But not just any joke — you hit him with an absolute gem that usually has everyone in stitches.

Here’s where things go wrong, though. After painting a Bob Ross masterpiece, beautifully scripted, joke and setting everything up real nice-like, you hit them with the punchline, and it’s hella raw!

It’s so poignant it sends chills down your spine when you deliver.

But wait, your boy doesn’t get it. Instead, he looks at you, with a raised eyebrow and a curled lip like: “That’s a funny joke…”

It’s time for you to bounce. This is not the job for you.

It’s a truth universally acknowledged that at some point in life, you’ve likely said something you regret. And one of the worst ways to do that is by telling an off-color joke or, even worse, one of those “way-too-soon” types. Let’s paint a picture…

Imagine your best friend lost their job a few days ago and is understandably feeling low. And then there’s you, who, for some inexplicable reason, decides it’s the perfect time to crack a joke.

So you go, “Hey, you know what’s funny? Last night, this homeless guy asked me for some spare change, and I was like, ‘Change? Do you want to change? How about trying this for a change — a JOB!’”

And just like that, your bestie’s fighting back tears, and you’re left with the sinking realization of how badly you’ve stuck your foot in your mouth.

Congratulations, you’ve officially earned the title of “jerk”!

Sometimes, you have to hand out assistance with your jokes. I get it (pun intended), but I assure you, saying “get it” does just the opposite of what you might intend. It almost always reads, “Yeah, my joke is lame, but darn it, you’re gonna like it.” No examples for this one because I’m sure you get it.

You’ve likely come across that one person who never understands anything and, as a result, is always late on humor.

Let’s say you have a friend; for the sake of the example, let’s also say she’s a she. Whenever you tell a joke, she almost always follows up with, “Wait, I don’t get it.” Essentially, it is shooting your joke in the face with a 12 gauge. It doesn’t matter that everyone else is laughing, grabbing their sides. It just doesn’t matter.

We’ve all been there, enduring a joke that seems to drag on forever. You sit patiently, waiting for the punchline, but it’s like watching a snail race — slow and agonizing.

As the joke meanders to the climax, you preemptively laugh to break the awkward silence. But by the time the punchline finally arrives, you’re unsure if it’s still supposed to be funny.

It’s like waiting for a pot to boil — except instead of boiling water, your patience evaporates.