Let’s be honest: being a fan isn’t just about rooting for the winning team or knowing who’s trending on social media. True fandom requires dedication, knowledge, and maybe even a little suffering (looking at you, Detroit Lions fans). But bandwagon fans? They’re out here ruining the vibe for everyone, hopping from team to team like it’s speed dating for sports allegiances.
If you’re wondering if you fit the bill, don’t worry—I’ve compiled the ultimate checklist to help you figure it out.
You Don’t Own Any Memorabilia (and Think That’s Okay)
Every real fan has at least something to show for their loyalty. Whether it’s a jersey, a beanie, or those foam fingers that scream “We’re #1!”, team merch is like a rite of passage. Even if all you can manage is a ratty old mug or a pair of fuzzy socks, it’s something.
But bandwagon fans? They show up empty-handed, or worse—they buy the merch after the team wins a championship. You know the type: Lakers “fans” rocking LeBron jerseys they bought in 2020 or those folks who suddenly became Golden State die-hards in 2015.
If your closet looks like a post-game clearance rack or, worse, has nothing at all, congratulations—you’ve just outed yourself as a bandwagon fan.
You’re a Bandwagon Fan Who Can’t Name Three Players on “Your Team”
Being a fan means knowing your team inside and out. You should be able to rattle off at least three current players without breaking a sweat. But bandwagon fans? They’re out here struggling to name one.
Let’s talk specifics. If you’re a Lakers fan and the only name you know is LeBron James, you’re not a fan—you’re a headline reader. Yankees fans, don’t even think about naming Babe Ruth like that counts. And Chiefs fans? Yes, we all know Patrick Mahomes, but can you name a defensive player? Didn’t think so.
Here’s a tip: next time someone asks you about your team, don’t panic. Google a few names beforehand, or better yet, watch an actual game. Just saying.
You Don’t Know Your Team’s Division, League, or Conference
When it comes to bandwagon fans, this is where things get embarrassing. Imagine someone asking you what division your team plays in, and you respond with, “Uhhh… the playoffs?” Yikes.
Whether it’s the NFL’s AFC and NFC, the NBA’s Eastern and Western Conferences, or MLB’s National and American Leagues, every real fan knows where their team belongs. But bandwagon fans? They’d probably guess “East Coast” for the Denver Nuggets.
Hockey fans, I see you too. If you’re claiming to ride for the Vegas Golden Knights but can’t even name the Pacific Division, please take a seat. Fandom isn’t just about showing up for the big moments—it’s about knowing the details that make your team special.
Your Loyalty Depends on Who’s Winning
You do realize that by definition, that this is exactly what a bandwagon fan is right?
Alright, let’s cut to the chase. If the only reason you root for your team is “because they win,” you’re not necessarily a bad person (though it does suggest you might have some deep-seated need for external validation that probably warrants observation—and maybe a therapy session or two). In reality, it just makes you the sports equivalent of Ricky Bobby: all flash, no depth, and living by the motto, “If you ain’t first, you’re last.”
I get it—a fast-paced, cocaine-fueled fantasy sounds like a wild ride, delivering exhilarating highs with every big win. But let’s be honest: where’s the substance? This kind of surface-level fandom comes with a price—you forfeit the right to engage in real, intellectual sports conversations with fans who’ve actually earned their stripes. Don’t know what “fan stripes” are? Just ask a Cleveland Browns or Chicago Cubs fan. Better yet, chat with a Buffalo Bills fan—they’ve been through enough to write the manual. Sorry Jim.
You’re a Kansas City Chiefs Bandwagon Fan
Ah, the Chiefs. A solid football team with a fanbase that’s now 50% Swifties who wouldn’t know a touchdown from a fumble. If you only started “rooting” for Kansas City because Taylor Swift decided to make Travis Kelce her new muse, guess what? You’re a bandwagon fan—and an annoying one at that.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s great to see the NFL trending on TikTok, but turning every game into a romantic subplot between Taylor and Travis is exhausting. Real fans are here for Mahomes’ insane plays, not the “Traylor” drama. So unless you’ve been yelling at your TV since the Alex Smith days, let’s not pretend you’re a lifer, okay?
Final Thoughts: Own Your Fandom
If you’ve checked off more than a few of these points, it’s time to own up: you’re a bandwagon fan. But don’t worry—there’s hope. Fandom is about more than just winning; it’s about showing up, learning, and maybe even sticking with a team through a losing season or two.
Just remember, loyalty is earned, not borrowed. So whether you’re a Chiefs bandwagoner, a Lakers “fan,” or someone who suddenly loves the Astros post-2017, at least try to act like you belong. Otherwise, you’ll always be that fan—and trust me, no one likes that fan.
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